Aztec NM Funeral Homes
$20 OFF
Heart-felt tributes to honor a dear friend or loved one who has passed away
405 South Main Avenue
Aztec, NM 87410
(505) 334-9332
Aztec NM Obituaries and Death Notices
Monday, November 28, 2016Kaylyn Mattus, 5, dressed in Aztec regalia, places flowers on the Soria family alter at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park & Mortuary in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Daniella Mendoza, 3, second from left, poses for her mother to take a picture of her with three women dressed in costume as La Catrina at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Hand-made figurines of La Catrina, the symbol of Dia de los Muertos available at the festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal From left, Natalie and Claudia Meza and Jessica Lopez enjoy the festivities after getting their faces painted at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Mariachi Fuertes entertains on stage at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Sa...
Monday, November 21, 2016Mexico where the tradition originated, says Hughes. Dia de los Muertos honors the dead with festivals and lively celebrations, a typically Latin American custom that combines indigenous Aztec rituals with Catholicism, brought to the region by Spanish conquistadores.The festival will build on this tradition by presenting a theatrical production by Teatro Flor Candela and a dance presentation by Grupo Pakal, specializing in Mayan dance. The festival will also feature altar building and blessing; vendors of traditional Dia de los Muertos items such as marigolds, pastries and sugar skulls; and children’s activities, live music and prize drawings.“Dia de los Muertos recognizes death as a natural part of the human experience, a continuum with birth, childhood and growing up to become a contributing member of the community. On Dia de los Muertos, the dead are also a part of the community, awakened from their eternal sleep to share celebrations with their loved ones,” says Hughes.And while all of this is happening the weekend of Halloween, it actually has nothing to do with the spooky holiday. “Halloween’s history dates to ancient Celtic customs,” says Hughes.“Dia de los Muertos is spread over two days. Nov. 1 is Dia de los Inocentes, honoring children who have died. Graves are decorated with white orchids and baby's breath. Nov. 2 is Dia de los Muertos, honoring adults, whose graves are decorated with bright orange marigolds. In the United States, the holiday is often only on one day.”Those familiar with the holiday will be excited to find traditional food and treats at the festival, including pan de muerto, or “bread of the dead.” Other common foods are mole sauce, nuts, oranges, pumpkins, chocolate and corn.In addition to lots of food, the festival will feature traditional altars.“The dead are honored on Dia de los Muertos with ofrendas, small, personal altars honoring one person. Ofrendas often have flowers, candles, food, drinks, photos and personal mementos of the person being remembered,” Hughes explains.The altars and graves are traditionally decorated with marigolds, known as cempasúchil or “flower of the dead.” Sugar skulls, la calaveras de azúcar, are placed on the altars. Traditional colors are purple, pink, white, orange, red, yellow and black.The festival will close with a showing of the animated film, The Book of Life, which was co-produced by Guillermo del Toro and nominated for a Golden Globe in 2014.The festival is free and open to the public.The festival takes place noon to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 29, at Crown Hill Memorial Park, 9700 Webb Chapel Road. Grupo Pakal is at 5 p.m.,Teatro Flor Candela is at 6:15 p.m. and th...
Monday, November 21, 2016Grass Monkey.Wednesday, Dec. 21: Monthly live arrangement of flowers for one year, courtesy of Blossoms Flowers and Gifts; family of four admission to Tennessee Safari Park; Aztec sweater, courtesy of Village Taylor.Thursday, Dec. 22: birthday party (petting zoo, pony rides, and more), courtesy of Rocking Dirt Road Farms; holiday country ham, courtesy of Curry’s Funeral Home; UT Vols framed sign, courtesy of Clayton Hayes Photography.Friday, Dec. 23: Guided fishing trip for two at Reelfoot Lake, courtesy of Gray’s Camp; oil change/lube/filter/rotation/balance/inspection, courtesy of Triple T Tire; fringed knit infinity scarf, courtesy of Tempe’s; decorator lamp, courtesy of Galleria.Saturday, Dec. 24: Drone with integrated camera, courtesy of Dot Foods, C&C Pharmacy, Billy Rogers Plumbing & Heating, and Your Books For Less, LLC.Sunday, Dec. 25: Curved HD LED TV, courtesy of FirstCNB, First South Bank, Security Bank, Forcum Lannom Materials, and Frazier Roofing.In addition, all daily gift packages will include a hydrotherapy massage from Cole Chiropractic Clinic.All donations raised through the ’12 Days of Christmas’ event will go towards the benefit of Transitions of Dyer County, a local ministry serving women currently suffering from life-controlling problems.Ticket donations for the ’12 Days of Christmas’ event may be made at any of the following locations:Village Taylor, Cole Chiropractic, Clayton Hayes Photography, Bentley’s Auto Repair, Bailey’s Monogram, Sunpoint Pool & Patio, Billy Rogers Plumbing & Heating, Diamond Gallery, Forcum Lannom Materials, Mustard Seed, Simmons Bank, First South Bank, FirstCNB, Pennington Seed & Supply, Grass Monkey, Triple T Tire Pros, Security Bank, Lake Road Service Center, C&C Pharmacy, Tempe’s, Blossoms, B&M Auto, Hilltop House, Galleria, and Transitions of Dyer County.Sponsors of this year’s event include: Gray’s Camp (John Fagan), Bentley’s Auto Repair, Lupo’s Italian Steakhouse, Save-A-Lot, Clayton Hayes Studio, Tennessee Safari Park, Lake Road Service Center, Bailey’s Monogram, Sunpoint Pool and Patio, Wayde Jackson Painting & Remodeling, Hilltop House, B & M Auto, Diamond Gallery, Tech Supply, Pennington Seed, Galleria, Abe’s Ribeye Barn, Grass Monkey, Blossom’s Flowers and Gifts, Village Taylor, Rocking Dirt Road Farms, Curry’s Funeral Home, Triple T Tire, Tempe’s, Dot Foods, C&C Pharmacy, Cole Chiropractic, Billy Rogers Plumbing & Heating, Your Books for Less, LLC, FirstCNB, First South Bank, Security Bank, Forcum Lannom Building Materials, and Frazier Roofing.All donations are tax deductible, and may be mailed into Transitions of Dyer County, P.O. Box 265, Dyersburg, TN 38025, or by calling 731.287.0461, or visiting: www.transitionsofdyercounty.org."If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come." -- I Corinthians 5:17.
Monday, November 07, 2016Kaylyn Mattus, 5, dressed in Aztec regalia, places flowers on the Soria family alter at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park & Mortuary in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Daniella Mendoza, 3, second from left, poses for her mother to take a picture of her with three women dressed in costume as La Catrina at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Hand-made figurines of La Catrina, the symbol of Dia de los Muertos available at the festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal From left, Natalie and Claudia Meza and Jessica Lopez enjoy the festivities after getting their faces painted at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Mariachi Fuertes entertains on stage at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Sa...
Monday, November 07, 2016Shuttles will be available from all parking areas. Eternal Valley is located at 23287 N. Sierra Hwy, Newhall, 91321.Throughout the evening, traditional Aztec dancers, Mariachi bands, and Folklorico groups, from throughout the Antelope, San Fernando and Santa Clarita valleys will perform. In addition, there will be a mercado with several vendors, face painting, a traditional food court, and a special area for community altars. Local art will be on display with two children’s and one adult galleries inside the main building. The Santa Clarita Library will host a children’s story time by the fireplace and a community altar will display photos of love ones, flowers and other decorations. The event will culminate in a service, which will include Aztec shaman Captaina Maria Soria.Dia De Los Muertos is a colorful and celebratory event that is unique to Mexico and other cultures. Flowers, gifts, fruits, candles and music are offered to honor the memory of lost loved ones on Nov. 1 and 2 each year. Family members and friends tend to the grave sites of their loved ones and adorn the space with food, trinkets and music they once enjoyed in their lifetime. Approximately 3,000 people are expected to attend the 2016 event, which would not be possible without the generous support of our community businesses.The Dia De Los Muertos SCV event is sponsored by the City of Santa Clarita, the De Mi Sueños Cultural Arts Program, and Eternal Valley Memorial Park. For more information contact Curtis Woods at 661-259-0800 or Curtis.Woods@DignityMemorial.com.About Eternal Valley Memorial Park MortuaryEternal Valley Memorial Park Mortuary (COA184/FD1163) in Newhall, Calif., is a proud Dignity Memorial provider. The Dignity Memorial network of more than 1,800 funeral, cremation and cemetery service providers is North America’s most trusted resource for funeral and memorialization services. Dignity Memorial providers offer an unmatched combination of products and locations serving families with care, integrity, respect and service excellence. For more information, call 661.259.0800 or visit ww...
Monday, September 26, 2016Lee Current, formerly of Tuscola, passed away Sunday, September 18, 2016. Funeral service will be Saturday, September 24, 2016, at 10 a.m. at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints church in Aztec, New Mexico.Mable GlassSNYDER, Texas — Mable Glass, 95, of Snyder passed away on Monday, September 19, 2016, in Snyder, TX. Funeral service will be held on Wednesday, September 21, 2016, at 11 a.m. at Bell-Cypert-Seale Funeral Home. Interment will follow in Pyron Cemetery. Visitation will be on Wednesday, September 21, 2016, from 10 until 11 a.m. at Bell-Cypert-Seale Funeral Home. Online condolences may be posted at www.bellcypertseale.com. Bell-Cypert-Seale 3101 College Ave., Snyder, TX, 79549. Phone: 325 573 5454 Fax: 325-573-6001. Email cypertseale@yahoo.comCynthia KennerTHIEF RIVER FALLS, Minnesota — Cynthia Kenner, formerly of Herreid, South Dakota, 64, passed away Sunday, September 18, 2016, at her sister's residence near Thief River Falls. Funeral service will be Saturday, September 24, 2016, at 2 p.m. at Johnson Funeral Service chapel in Thief River Falls. Burial will be in Landstad Cemetery near Gatzke, Minnesota. Visitation will be from noon until 2 p.m. Saturday, September 24, 2016. Family condolences may be sent to www.johnsonfuneralservice.comMelvina MontgomeryABILENE, Texas — Melvina Montgomery, 89, passed away Wednesday, September 14, 2016, at an Abilene nursing center. Wake will be from 6 until 8 p.m. Thursday, September 22, 2016, at Girdner Funeral Home, Abilene TX. Funeral service will be 10:30 a.m. Friday, September 23, 2016, at New Light Baptist Church, Abilene, under the direction of Girdner Funeral Home.LaVerne PerkinsABILENE, Texas — LaVerne Perkins, 74, passed away Sunday, September 18, 2016. Visitation will be noon until 1 p.m. Thursday, September 22, 2016, at Elmwood Funeral Home, 5750 U.S. Hwy 277 South. Funeral service will be 1 p.m. Thursday, September 22, 2016, a...
Monday, August 22, 2016It's quite possibly the worst way a man can express his interest in a woman. What's even weirder and grosser is the people dressed in (probably not authentic) Aztec ceremonial dress who storm the restaurant to tell Ashley I. that they're here to "sacrifice a virgin" in English. Someone needs to get fired. I don't care which head has to roll, but I bet it belongs to some white producer who says things like, "You can't own a culture."The next day in paradise, Ashley I. is lying in her bed, full-on weeping. I'm talking Dothraki-widow-at-her-khal's-funeral weeping. Caila sits nearby, feeling sorry while tiny birds braid her hair. Wait, how did Ashley I. get back to the resort? Anyway, it's time for another ladytestant to arrive in Paradise and — OH SHIT, it's Jen … wait … who? Apparently she was on Ben's season and she's super-pretty. Every guy can sense her pheromones and wants to make her theirs. After sitting down with a couple of the guys, Jen settles on this season's runner-up sad-sack, Nick, to be her date. They go on a yacht and say what they like about each other even though they just met 20 minutes ago.While on the beach, Nick and Jen start to make out in the sand and surf, but find themselves under siege by a swarm of crabs. They fight off the hordes of crabs and find solace in each other's arms as they look upon the death and destruction they've wrought. (Their date was really boring. That's all I got.)Evan continues to be the goddamn worst and a medic in a white coat tells him that he's got to go to the hospital to check on his "ankles." He asks Carly to ride in the ambulance with him and she agrees for reasons I cannot fathom. Somehow, his ankle malady means he has to have his blood drawn and there's way too much blood on his arm for just a simple blood draw. At the hospital, Carly and Evan finally bond. It only took faking several illnesses and putting himself in a position to be pitied to spark the rebirth of their relationship.Carly, you're looking way too desperate and thirsty. You're cute. You're bright. You deserve better than reluctantly falling in love at a Mexican urgent-care center. That tingly feeling you're feeling? That's not love. That's staph. Is Evan worth it?No. No, he's not.It's time for the rose ceremony and Host Chris announces that they're going to have a little cocktail party. Sarah assesses the potential damage: she could go home, along with Ashley I. and the Twins. But if that happens, who will get wasted and eat bananas in public? Who will weep uncontrollably at the drop of a hat?Jared is nervous that Caila will hold back because she doesn't want to make Ashley I. feel uncomfortable, despite doing the exact things that would make Ashley I. uncomfortable. Jared sits Ashley I. down and tries to talk some sense into an unreasonable object. He reminds her that she could be dating other guys and she knows that but whyyyyy won't you just be with me.Has someone introduced Evan and Ashley? I feel like their mutual confusion about what love is and what the word "deserve" means would really bring them close together.The best part of this segment of the Ashley I. saga is Nick telling her, "Nooo … nooo … that's not love," and when she whines, "You can't tell me that!" Nick just goes, "Yeah. I can. It's not."Listen to your elders, Ashley I.
Aztec News
Monday, November 28, 2016Kaylyn Mattus, 5, dressed in Aztec regalia, places flowers on the Soria family alter at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park & Mortuary in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Daniella Mendoza, 3, second from left, poses for her mother to take a picture of her with three women dressed in costume as La Catrina at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Hand-made figurines of La Catrina, the symbol of Dia de los Muertos available at the festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal From left, Natalie and Claudia Meza and Jessica Lopez enjoy the festivities after getting their faces painted at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Mariachi Fuertes entertains on stage at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Sa...
Monday, November 21, 2016Mexico where the tradition originated, says Hughes. Dia de los Muertos honors the dead with festivals and lively celebrations, a typically Latin American custom that combines indigenous Aztec rituals with Catholicism, brought to the region by Spanish conquistadores.The festival will build on this tradition by presenting a theatrical production by Teatro Flor Candela and a dance presentation by Grupo Pakal, specializing in Mayan dance. The festival will also feature altar building and blessing; vendors of traditional Dia de los Muertos items such as marigolds, pastries and sugar skulls; and children’s activities, live music and prize drawings.“Dia de los Muertos recognizes death as a natural part of the human experience, a continuum with birth, childhood and growing up to become a contributing member of the community. On Dia de los Muertos, the dead are also a part of the community, awakened from their eternal sleep to share celebrations with their loved ones,” says Hughes.And while all of this is happening the weekend of Halloween, it actually has nothing to do with the spooky holiday. “Halloween’s history dates to ancient Celtic customs,” says Hughes.“Dia de los Muertos is spread over two days. Nov. 1 is Dia de los Inocentes, honoring children who have died. Graves are decorated with white orchids and baby's breath. Nov. 2 is Dia de los Muertos, honoring adults, whose graves are decorated with bright orange marigolds. In the United States, the holiday is often only on one day.”Those familiar with the holiday will be excited to find traditional food and treats at the festival, including pan de muerto, or “bread of the dead.” Other common foods are mole sauce, nuts, oranges, pumpkins, chocolate and corn.In addition to lots of food, the festival will feature traditional altars.“The dead are honored on Dia de los Muertos with ofrendas, small, personal altars honoring one person. Ofrendas often have flowers, candles, food, drinks, photos and personal mementos of the person being remembered,” Hughes explains.The altars and graves are traditionally decorated with marigolds, known as cempasúchil or “flower of the dead.” Sugar skulls, la calaveras de azúcar, are placed on the altars. Traditional colors are purple, pink, white, orange, red, yellow and black.The festival will close with a showing of the animated film, The Book of Life, which was co-produced by Guillermo del Toro and nominated for a Golden Globe in 2014.The festival is free and open to the public.The festival takes place noon to 5 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 29, at Crown Hill Memorial Park, 9700 Webb Chapel Road. Grupo Pakal is at 5 p.m.,Teatro Flor Candela is at 6:15 p.m. and th...
Monday, November 21, 2016Grass Monkey.Wednesday, Dec. 21: Monthly live arrangement of flowers for one year, courtesy of Blossoms Flowers and Gifts; family of four admission to Tennessee Safari Park; Aztec sweater, courtesy of Village Taylor.Thursday, Dec. 22: birthday party (petting zoo, pony rides, and more), courtesy of Rocking Dirt Road Farms; holiday country ham, courtesy of Curry’s Funeral Home; UT Vols framed sign, courtesy of Clayton Hayes Photography.Friday, Dec. 23: Guided fishing trip for two at Reelfoot Lake, courtesy of Gray’s Camp; oil change/lube/filter/rotation/balance/inspection, courtesy of Triple T Tire; fringed knit infinity scarf, courtesy of Tempe’s; decorator lamp, courtesy of Galleria.Saturday, Dec. 24: Drone with integrated camera, courtesy of Dot Foods, C&C Pharmacy, Billy Rogers Plumbing & Heating, and Your Books For Less, LLC.Sunday, Dec. 25: Curved HD LED TV, courtesy of FirstCNB, First South Bank, Security Bank, Forcum Lannom Materials, and Frazier Roofing.In addition, all daily gift packages will include a hydrotherapy massage from Cole Chiropractic Clinic.All donations raised through the ’12 Days of Christmas’ event will go towards the benefit of Transitions of Dyer County, a local ministry serving women currently suffering from life-controlling problems.Ticket donations for the ’12 Days of Christmas’ event may be made at any of the following locations:Village Taylor, Cole Chiropractic, Clayton Hayes Photography, Bentley’s Auto Repair, Bailey’s Monogram, Sunpoint Pool & Patio, Billy Rogers Plumbing & Heating, Diamond Gallery, Forcum Lannom Materials, Mustard Seed, Simmons Bank, First South Bank, FirstCNB, Pennington Seed & Supply, Grass Monkey, Triple T Tire Pros, Security Bank, Lake Road Service Center, C&C Pharmacy, Tempe’s, Blossoms, B&M Auto, Hilltop House, Galleria, and Transitions of Dyer County.Sponsors of this year’s event include: Gray’s Camp (John Fagan), Bentley’s Auto Repair, Lupo’s Italian Steakhouse, Save-A-Lot, Clayton Hayes Studio, Tennessee Safari Park, Lake Road Service Center, Bailey’s Monogram, Sunpoint Pool and Patio, Wayde Jackson Painting & Remodeling, Hilltop House, B & M Auto, Diamond Gallery, Tech Supply, Pennington Seed, Galleria, Abe’s Ribeye Barn, Grass Monkey, Blossom’s Flowers and Gifts, Village Taylor, Rocking Dirt Road Farms, Curry’s Funeral Home, Triple T Tire, Tempe’s, Dot Foods, C&C Pharmacy, Cole Chiropractic, Billy Rogers Plumbing & Heating, Your Books for Less, LLC, FirstCNB, First South Bank, Security Bank, Forcum Lannom Building Materials, and Frazier Roofing.All donations are tax deductible, and may be mailed into Transitions of Dyer County, P.O. Box 265, Dyersburg, TN 38025, or by calling 731.287.0461, or visiting: www.transitionsofdyercounty.org."If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come." -- I Corinthians 5:17.
Monday, November 07, 2016Kaylyn Mattus, 5, dressed in Aztec regalia, places flowers on the Soria family alter at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park & Mortuary in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Daniella Mendoza, 3, second from left, poses for her mother to take a picture of her with three women dressed in costume as La Catrina at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Hand-made figurines of La Catrina, the symbol of Dia de los Muertos available at the festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal From left, Natalie and Claudia Meza and Jessica Lopez enjoy the festivities after getting their faces painted at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Saturday. Dan Watson/The Signal Mariachi Fuertes entertains on stage at the annual Dia de los Muertos festival held at Eternal Valley Memorial Park in Newhall on Sa...
Monday, November 07, 2016Shuttles will be available from all parking areas. Eternal Valley is located at 23287 N. Sierra Hwy, Newhall, 91321.Throughout the evening, traditional Aztec dancers, Mariachi bands, and Folklorico groups, from throughout the Antelope, San Fernando and Santa Clarita valleys will perform. In addition, there will be a mercado with several vendors, face painting, a traditional food court, and a special area for community altars. Local art will be on display with two children’s and one adult galleries inside the main building. The Santa Clarita Library will host a children’s story time by the fireplace and a community altar will display photos of love ones, flowers and other decorations. The event will culminate in a service, which will include Aztec shaman Captaina Maria Soria.Dia De Los Muertos is a colorful and celebratory event that is unique to Mexico and other cultures. Flowers, gifts, fruits, candles and music are offered to honor the memory of lost loved ones on Nov. 1 and 2 each year. Family members and friends tend to the grave sites of their loved ones and adorn the space with food, trinkets and music they once enjoyed in their lifetime. Approximately 3,000 people are expected to attend the 2016 event, which would not be possible without the generous support of our community businesses.The Dia De Los Muertos SCV event is sponsored by the City of Santa Clarita, the De Mi Sueños Cultural Arts Program, and Eternal Valley Memorial Park. For more information contact Curtis Woods at 661-259-0800 or Curtis.Woods@DignityMemorial.com.About Eternal Valley Memorial Park MortuaryEternal Valley Memorial Park Mortuary (COA184/FD1163) in Newhall, Calif., is a proud Dignity Memorial provider. The Dignity Memorial network of more than 1,800 funeral, cremation and cemetery service providers is North America’s most trusted resource for funeral and memorialization services. Dignity Memorial providers offer an unmatched combination of products and locations serving families with care, integrity, respect and service excellence. For more information, call 661.259.0800 or visit ww...
Monday, September 26, 2016Lee Current, formerly of Tuscola, passed away Sunday, September 18, 2016. Funeral service will be Saturday, September 24, 2016, at 10 a.m. at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints church in Aztec, New Mexico.Mable GlassSNYDER, Texas — Mable Glass, 95, of Snyder passed away on Monday, September 19, 2016, in Snyder, TX. Funeral service will be held on Wednesday, September 21, 2016, at 11 a.m. at Bell-Cypert-Seale Funeral Home. Interment will follow in Pyron Cemetery. Visitation will be on Wednesday, September 21, 2016, from 10 until 11 a.m. at Bell-Cypert-Seale Funeral Home. Online condolences may be posted at www.bellcypertseale.com. Bell-Cypert-Seale 3101 College Ave., Snyder, TX, 79549. Phone: 325 573 5454 Fax: 325-573-6001. Email cypertseale@yahoo.comCynthia KennerTHIEF RIVER FALLS, Minnesota — Cynthia Kenner, formerly of Herreid, South Dakota, 64, passed away Sunday, September 18, 2016, at her sister's residence near Thief River Falls. Funeral service will be Saturday, September 24, 2016, at 2 p.m. at Johnson Funeral Service chapel in Thief River Falls. Burial will be in Landstad Cemetery near Gatzke, Minnesota. Visitation will be from noon until 2 p.m. Saturday, September 24, 2016. Family condolences may be sent to www.johnsonfuneralservice.comMelvina MontgomeryABILENE, Texas — Melvina Montgomery, 89, passed away Wednesday, September 14, 2016, at an Abilene nursing center. Wake will be from 6 until 8 p.m. Thursday, September 22, 2016, at Girdner Funeral Home, Abilene TX. Funeral service will be 10:30 a.m. Friday, September 23, 2016, at New Light Baptist Church, Abilene, under the direction of Girdner Funeral Home.LaVerne PerkinsABILENE, Texas — LaVerne Perkins, 74, passed away Sunday, September 18, 2016. Visitation will be noon until 1 p.m. Thursday, September 22, 2016, at Elmwood Funeral Home, 5750 U.S. Hwy 277 South. Funeral service will be 1 p.m. Thursday, September 22, 2016, a...
Monday, August 22, 2016It's quite possibly the worst way a man can express his interest in a woman. What's even weirder and grosser is the people dressed in (probably not authentic) Aztec ceremonial dress who storm the restaurant to tell Ashley I. that they're here to "sacrifice a virgin" in English. Someone needs to get fired. I don't care which head has to roll, but I bet it belongs to some white producer who says things like, "You can't own a culture."The next day in paradise, Ashley I. is lying in her bed, full-on weeping. I'm talking Dothraki-widow-at-her-khal's-funeral weeping. Caila sits nearby, feeling sorry while tiny birds braid her hair. Wait, how did Ashley I. get back to the resort? Anyway, it's time for another ladytestant to arrive in Paradise and — OH SHIT, it's Jen … wait … who? Apparently she was on Ben's season and she's super-pretty. Every guy can sense her pheromones and wants to make her theirs. After sitting down with a couple of the guys, Jen settles on this season's runner-up sad-sack, Nick, to be her date. They go on a yacht and say what they like about each other even though they just met 20 minutes ago.While on the beach, Nick and Jen start to make out in the sand and surf, but find themselves under siege by a swarm of crabs. They fight off the hordes of crabs and find solace in each other's arms as they look upon the death and destruction they've wrought. (Their date was really boring. That's all I got.)Evan continues to be the goddamn worst and a medic in a white coat tells him that he's got to go to the hospital to check on his "ankles." He asks Carly to ride in the ambulance with him and she agrees for reasons I cannot fathom. Somehow, his ankle malady means he has to have his blood drawn and there's way too much blood on his arm for just a simple blood draw. At the hospital, Carly and Evan finally bond. It only took faking several illnesses and putting himself in a position to be pitied to spark the rebirth of their relationship.Carly, you're looking way too desperate and thirsty. You're cute. You're bright. You deserve better than reluctantly falling in love at a Mexican urgent-care center. That tingly feeling you're feeling? That's not love. That's staph. Is Evan worth it?No. No, he's not.It's time for the rose ceremony and Host Chris announces that they're going to have a little cocktail party. Sarah assesses the potential damage: she could go home, along with Ashley I. and the Twins. But if that happens, who will get wasted and eat bananas in public? Who will weep uncontrollably at the drop of a hat?Jared is nervous that Caila will hold back because she doesn't want to make Ashley I. feel uncomfortable, despite doing the exact things that would make Ashley I. uncomfortable. Jared sits Ashley I. down and tries to talk some sense into an unreasonable object. He reminds her that she could be dating other guys and she knows that but whyyyyy won't you just be with me.Has someone introduced Evan and Ashley? I feel like their mutual confusion about what love is and what the word "deserve" means would really bring them close together.The best part of this segment of the Ashley I. saga is Nick telling her, "Nooo … nooo … that's not love," and when she whines, "You can't tell me that!" Nick just goes, "Yeah. I can. It's not."Listen to your elders, Ashley I.
